A Treatise on Goodbyes

I hate goodbyes. 

A lot of people claim to hate goodbyes, but I really, really hate them. I am the queen of hating goodbyes and today I have come one step closer to understanding why I hate them so much. It's really a combination of factors that all result in my uncanny ability to extend every conversation forever. 

If you have ever had a phone conversation with me that lasted more than seven minutes you quickly realize that you have entered into another dimension and the chances of the conversation ending are inversely proportional to each additional minute past seven (eg. if you talk to me 14 minutes past the initial 7 minute warm-up period, there is a one in fourteen billion chance that I will be the one getting off the phone first). And what you will ultimately discover is that I do not ever end phone conversations. Unless my cell phone battery dies, there is an emergency*, or the earth just happens to stop spinning, I will not initiate a goodbye on the phone. (*Note: even in case of emergency, there is a pretty solid chance that I still won't hang up. Just ask Michelle about the car accident that she witnessed via cellular device when my phone flew out of my hand but kept her on the line.) It's true, I may fill your ears with all sorts of nonsense, "Well, I really should go... I know you have to..." but in the end you will have to pull the trigger, because I am not going to do it.

This phenomenon also occurs in face-to-face conversations with me. I'd like to defend myself though. I probably should have never taken the "5 Love Languages" quiz because it only means that now I have an excuse for being so obnoxious, demanding, and even, at times, a little jealous of your time. For those of you that don't know what the 5 Love Languages are or don't know what yours is, please take this quiz. It's actually pretty interesting. If it wasn't obvious, my love language is QUALITY TIME. (fyi: Physical touch is a close second, and acts of service is dead last.) So there, that's why I am terrible at goodbyes and act like a toddler when I get left behind...

Speaking of "left behind", and no, I'm not talking about the rapture... "When are you going home?" is one of the dreaded questions (there are many) we Auburn townies have to answer every break. Usually the inquistor stops him/herself and adds, "Oh wait, you are home." Yes. I am, but that's what makes goodbyes so hard. All other students leave Auburn to return to their families, homes, and lives. I have those things here. I guess what I'm really saying is this: goodbyes are much more difficult when you are the one being left behind. 

Perhaps I'm wrong, or just haven't ever had the experience of being the one leaving. All I know is it seems that role must be easier. The leaver leaves and doesn't have to deal with being left in the same place in the absence of the leaver. He or she experiences a change of characters along with a change of setting. My characters are always changing while my setting stays the same. Auburn is a single town with two very different lives, one for the summer and winter, and one for the spring and fall. Can she live both or will she be broken in twain?

Now is about that time. Oh, how I hate to say it. Goodbye.