Where Have the Good Men Gone?

The Wall Street Journey online is asking the question, "Where Have the Good Men Gone?"

This is a question that has come up in my own life and discussions a lot, especially in the past couple of years, in light of the documentary Demographic Winter or sparked by John Paul II's Theology of the Body.

My good friend Alejandro alerted me to the article, whose content honestly isn't that surprising or earth-shattering until I consider the source. Christian writers have been thinking about this question for a while now, and I have personally heard many speakers discuss the "man-child phenomenon" especially as it relates to domination of the virtual reality and pornography industries. What is remarkable to me is that writers at the WSJ have noticed and are not just describing the problem, but really looking to explore its roots.

I encourage you to read the full article here, but as a primer, here are some interesting quotes from the article:

The knowledge economy gives the educated young an unprecedented opportunity to think about work in personal terms. They are looking not just for jobs but for "careers," work in which they can exercise their talents and express their deepest passions. They expect their careers to give shape to their identity. For today's pre-adults, "what you do" is almost synonymous with "who you are," and starting a family is seldom part of the picture.

...and...

Unlike adolescents, however, pre-adults don't know what is supposed to come next. For them, marriage and parenthood come in many forms, or can be skipped altogether. In 1970, just 16% of Americans ages 25 to 29 had never been married; today that's true of an astonishing 55% of the age group. In the U.S., the mean age at first marriage has been climbing toward 30 (a point past which it has already gone in much of Europe). It is no wonder that so many young Americans suffer through a "quarter-life crisis," a period of depression and worry over their future.

...and finally...

Relatively affluent, free of family responsibilities, and entertained by an array of media devoted to his every pleasure, the single young man can live in pig heaven—and often does. Women put up with him for a while, but then in fear and disgust either give up on any idea of a husband and kids or just go to a sperm bank and get the DNA without the troublesome man. But these rational choices on the part of women only serve to legitimize men's attachment to the sand box. Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There's nothing they have to do.

I find this last quote particularly interesting. She seems to, at least partially, answer her own question, "Where have the good men gone?" by examining the responsibility of her own sex. Women will reap what they sow. If women continue to sell themselves short by failing to make demands and set high standards for men, then they simply, "legitimize men's attachment to the sandbox." Perhaps the author, in her 'feminine genius', has stumbled upon the truth behind Archbishop Fulton Sheen words, "The level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood."