11.09.2011

Knowing and Loving

According to Fulton Sheen's, "Knowing and Loving":


"The first difference between a man and a woman is that a man is concerned principally with things and a woman with persons. Hence a man talks business and a woman of how another woman is dressed. A man's interest is more remote; a woman's interest is more immediate. A man's interest leans to the abstract; a woman's to the concrete and intimate. A man is concerned with ends, goals, and purposes; a woman with something that is very proximate and close and near and dear to her. Because man centers on things and woman on persons, a woman is more inclined to gossip. A woman does not believe everything she hears, but at least she can repeat it ...
These are differences, but they actually complement one another, and very beautifully. The man is interested in the sowing of wheat in the field; the woman in making the bread. Both the bow and the violin are necessary for good music. 
A second difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman is that a man will always give reasons for loving, but a woman gives no reasons for loving.
A man will say, 'I love you because you are beautiful; I love you because your teeth are pearly; I love you because you are sweet.'
The woman just says, 'I love you.' Period.
Man's love is always mixed up with his reasons. Men generally write the love sons. Hence such titles as 'That is Why I Love You' or reasons like these: 'You're the cream in my coffee...,' 'You're my Shakespeare sonnet..., my Mickey Mouse...'
These are not very good reasons for loving, but at least they are reasons. Man's love is always tied up with his intellect; but for a woman, love is its own reason. 'I love you because I love you.' A man gives reasons because he compares one woman with another; a woman just prefers. A man sees one peach in a basket of peaches; a woman sees only the one peach. A father's love for a child varies with the child's obedience to his commands; a mother's love is more immediate and more ready to overlook the faults. If 'love is blind,' it may be because it gives no reason. But it has a reason, which is choice, election, preference. As Our Lord told His Apostles, 'I have chosen you.'
A woman never tells why she loves; she just tells you how she loves...
A third difference is that defects get in the way of a man's love. But defects never hurt a woman's love. A man hears somebody talk about the woman that he loves or is going to marry, and he will say, 'Well, after all, I have got to know that woman if I am to marry her; and I had better listen to this.'
But a woman won't listen to anybody 'running down' her intended. She knows the man has defects, but she loves him anyway. Her attitude is that of the popular song, 'He's Just My Bill.' He may be a good-for-nothing blankety-blank-blank, but he's my Bill, anyway. A man's love decreases with the revelation of defects; a woman's does not. A woman gets angry when a man denies his faults, because she knew them all along. His lying mocks her affection; it is the deceit that angers her more than the faults.
There is something divine in that kind of love, because God loves us in spite of all defects, our failings, and our sins. A man may stand for the Justice of God, but a woman stands for His Mercy."


Do you agree?


I am not sure what role my feminine pride is playing here, but the way he describes a woman's love sounds pretty accurate to me. I've always felt a little silly saying, "Just because," as a reason for loving, but I've never really had any other reasons. Way to go Fulton. 

1 comment:

Brittany said...

Archbishop Sheen knows a woman's heart so well!! I cannot imagine his relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary.

I think the line about the peaches is interesting. When joking about the "list" that men have naming the women he might be interested in, we always recognize that a woman's "list" nearly always consists of one man. I'm not sure how appropriate it is, simply for prudence's sake, but it turns out that way nonetheless.